The countdown has begun (technically it started a few weeks ago), so the final countdown has begun. One week. One week and I will be getting on the plane that's taking me home. It's safe to say I'm ecstatic - although there is a surreal feeling that it is bittersweet.
I never even thought I would make it to the point where I was staying, yet here I am 3 months later, still going (a little slower than I started). Much of my experience has been quite unexpected, not how I pictured it at all, but I have still enjoyed it, minus a few things. These things seem big now - in the near future they won't matter a bit and hopefully I will be laughing about them. Truthfully, I'm laughing at some of them already, it helps so why not?!
The definition of bittersweet is "both pleasant and painful mixed together" (the first definition I found was 'a poisonous Eurasian woody vine' - not quite what I was going for!). Leaving is definitely both pleasant and painful, as I am letting go of things that are draining and toxic to me, on the other hand I am leaving family, and also new friends who I have formed great friendships with. I know that I will keep in contact with them, and hopefully sometime will get to visit them again, or have them visit me. I really wouldn't have got through this without them, or without my family at home spurring me on!
I seem to have a million things to fit into this last week, and I am so worried that I won't get everything done in time, as people aren't quite as organised as I would like them to be. All I can do is keep trying to get things done - one of them is pretty important though, getting a suitcase! I thought I was sorted when my Uncle gave me a suitcase, but unfortunately it turns out that it is my Aunts and he shouldn't of giving it to me in the first place. So now I am needing to go out and get a suitcase so I can actually get all of my things home - it makes more sense now why I'm really stressed eh?
It doesn't help that my body is continually declining, and I just need to be home where I can actually rest and not have so many things that are stressing me out and making me worse. To do that I have to get through this week, which I know is going to be a fight against my body.
Lets get through the week, and lets make the most of the time I have remaining, as I know I will miss some things when I go, and I'm always going to have that to-ing and fro-ing in my head of whether I'm doing the right thing. I just know that at this moment, home is the place for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment